Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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It Never Gets Better...

Unless you're currently tucking into a tasteless meal of Ramen Noodles and stealing toiletpaper from your job as a janitor. Then, maybe it gets better. But if you're me, with a pretty good job, a good life, a great (most of the time.. well - some of the time.. no, let's go with most of the time, he reads this shit) husband, then really, it doesn't get a whole helluva lot better.

I mean that not in a hopeless way, but an accepting I'm-growing-up-and-trying-to-quit-whining-about-bullshit-cuz-it-could-be-worse kind of way. Dig me?

Just got back from Amish country. Ma Bielanko dwells in the heart of Pennsylvania so we dashed through the snow to deliver Christmas tidings to the in-laws. Now I'm in Times Square. From AmishLand to Times Square... a transition as smooth as sliding Ashlee Simpson into the player after an hour of Sinatra's dulcet tones.

Strange how we (The Surge, his brother Dave, Dave's way better half Kate and Donnie Pizza Sauce) ended up playing cards and drinking, which we coulda done right here in New York City. Ah well.. can take the Bielankos outta da city but ya can't take... you know the rest.

So The Surge, Maximus and I trudged in the front door of Our Apartment In The City and heaped onto the couch. I then proceeded to burst into tears. Not sure why. I felt crowded, cramped.. like a sardine stuffed back into my tin. It wasn't just me. Max's tail seemed to have lost a bit of it's wag.

For the next half hour The Surge attempted to prop me up with a list of things he likes about me.
"I like that you get car sick and still wandered around Wal-Mart with me even though you were afraid you might throw up."
"Keep going" I said while wiping away a tear.
"I like that it doesn't take you very long to get ready."
"I like that you are so patient with me."
"I like that you love me."
"I like that you have a fiery temper." The Surge comes in with the save.
"I like that you hung all my Dad's paintings in our house even though I know you didn't want to."

This little game proceeded for some time.. until I felt better. But it occurred to me like lightning.. buck up bitch. This is the only life you got and it's pretty fantastic. These problems I'm obsessing over now will melt like snow in the spring and like spring flowers, a new set will soon grow.

Thing is, I ain't eatin' Ramen and although I still steal toiletpaper from work that's pure habit and frugality. I got it good and the sooner I come to terms with that, the better off I'll be.

Reader Comments (8)

Well what are you comparing "got it good" to? Or are you saying (as I believe you are) that after each person crosses a certain line of material wellbeing, then that's it! Makes sense to me...But if you don't feel in your heart of hearts that you have really got it good, then there's no point in self-persuading. Subjectively, your quality of life will not be quite so "good" if that is the case.
December 29, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterjenny
What a keeper! You are so lucky.
December 29, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterValleyGirl71
Stealing tp from work.....hmmmmmm. Why has that one never crossed my mind. And yes, what a cute husband it sounds like you have! ;-)
December 30, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterLolaWants
Amen! After all the bad news I've been hearing lately, I too began realizing just how "good" I really do have it. I just wish I had a soulmate like you do to remind me now & then! ;) BUT - I do have my daughter, who does a pretty good job of reminding me just by BEING. Happy New Year, Monica!
December 30, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterdasi
Well said.
December 30, 2005 | Unregistered Commentercchild
Oh, I feel ya. Had the same kind of talk with myself recently. Perspective is a strange thing - should it prompt us to tell ourselves that our "problems" aren't significant or just remind us to be thankful that our problems aren't any worse than they are? I go back and forth. Thanks for the good post.
December 30, 2005 | Unregistered Commenteramanda b
Sometimes it's so much easier to focus on the bad stuff...which sucks, doesn't it? :-)
December 30, 2005 | Unregistered Commentersandra
It sounds like you have a superb life. Enjoy every second of it! Thanks for visiting my blog. I love yours... I'll be back soon :)
December 31, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterAmazingGrace

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