Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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How He Blew It

I was recently interviewed by a NY Post reporter who was writing a story on how guys can blow it on dates. You know, that one moment on a date when a guy crosses the line.. those little dealbreakers we women have that, once broken, have us at home on the phone with the girlfriends describing the horror of the date with the guy we will never, ever date again.. It's a pretty cute article, check it out.

Reader Comments (7)

Holy crap. My favorite part: "I should have had him brought up on ear-rape charges." DYING.
January 31, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSicksadworld
You were a charm to read in print.
January 31, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterstephanieklein
Oh, god -- that's fantastically awful. I once went back to a guy's place in college -- who I thought was quite possibly the most gorgeous specimen alive -- and had to leave (so disappointing) after:

a) He said that he had something to show me, and excitedly took me to his room not to hook up but to point out the presence of an American flag, covering one wall of the room
b) I noticed more than two (actually, probably more than ten) Bruce Springsteen posters on his walls
c) He indicated that he was going to put on some hook-up music and "Born in the USA" came bursting through his speakers a few seconds later
d) He showed me his tattoo: a picture of an open parachute (with an American flag on it, naturally) next to the ever-so-clever phrase, "Chute to Kill"
e) He started (and wouldn't stop) talking like Elvis
f) He kept saying (insert Elvis voice), "Pumpkins rule, dude" and showed me his Smashing Pumpkins fan club card

He'd seemed so normal just hours earlier...

Ear rape, though? Fantastic.
January 31, 2006 | Unregistered Commentersandra
That was so funny! I liked yours best (it was well written and the funniest)
January 31, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAimee
Very funny read!

My own personal story of doom was when, as a junior in college, I went on a date with a classmate. He picked me up and said we were going to double with his best friend and his girlfriend. No problems there, but even though I didn't know them, they knew who I was and knew my little brother. Wierd, but as I probed with more questions I found out they both were SOPHOMORES IN HIGH SCHOOL. Yup, I was on a date with high school kids. I felt dirty.
January 31, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterTracy
That's a good one Tracy! I have also been victim to ear rape. Why any guy would think that's hot is beyond me. A few years ago I met a guy who seemed totally cool. When I finally got a look at his CD collection it was riddled with boy bands like Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. He was totally into boy bands and that one group from making the band called O-Town. I could maybe overlook Britney because she's hot. But I couldn't get past the boy bands.
January 31, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterGemma
I tried to humor a boyfiend who thought that ear licking was this big hot thing to moan over but he tasted funny. It kind of tickled when he did it to me so I can vaguely imagine what it must be like to get off on that, but it was also gross. I'm sorry you were ear raped, Monica.

And I think the worst part about what happened to Sandra was when the guy started impersonating Elvis. What a phony idiot. Funny, but probably not in the way he intended it.
June 8, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterdesiree

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