Monday
Oct232006
What Will Be, Will Be
August 3, 2003
Today marks ten months since I met Andy. What a crazy yet productive year it's been. I'm sitting atop a mountain in Millcreek Canyon. I believe I'm in the Alexander Basin with, of course, my trusty sidekick, Max. He is getting so big. He turned four months yesterday. He's forty pounds and growing.
Andy has totally come clean with me. He isn't certain I'm the girl for him because he isn't sure we share the same interests... So he says. Such as camping, hiking etc.. He was afraid we'd get married and I'd want to stay home and watch T.V. all the time and he is the ultimate Mountain Man. I can't say I blame him.
For some reason I fancy myself some sort of sporty, outdoorsy chick. That is so not the case, as I have found out. The last couple months have been a real eye opener. I have been so afraid of being poor, like my Mom, or relying on some guy to take care of me that I have spent the first half of my twenties focusing on earning a living. Since I am farther along in my career than most my age I have considered myself well rounded - and I'm not. I haven't persued any hobbies or personal interests at all. I've slept and worked and that's all. No wonder Andy lost interest.
So I'm turning over a new leaf. For myself. Not Andy. Fuck him for now. He's been entirely too critical of me lately. I am going to become the person I've always wanted to be and I'm going to do it on my own.
Andy is going to New Zealand for one month. He leaves tomorrow. He's testing ski bindings for Black Diamond. I'm relieved he's going. I am so tired of thinking about him. What will be, will be. Max says hello.
Monica
Today marks ten months since I met Andy. What a crazy yet productive year it's been. I'm sitting atop a mountain in Millcreek Canyon. I believe I'm in the Alexander Basin with, of course, my trusty sidekick, Max. He is getting so big. He turned four months yesterday. He's forty pounds and growing.
Andy has totally come clean with me. He isn't certain I'm the girl for him because he isn't sure we share the same interests... So he says. Such as camping, hiking etc.. He was afraid we'd get married and I'd want to stay home and watch T.V. all the time and he is the ultimate Mountain Man. I can't say I blame him.
For some reason I fancy myself some sort of sporty, outdoorsy chick. That is so not the case, as I have found out. The last couple months have been a real eye opener. I have been so afraid of being poor, like my Mom, or relying on some guy to take care of me that I have spent the first half of my twenties focusing on earning a living. Since I am farther along in my career than most my age I have considered myself well rounded - and I'm not. I haven't persued any hobbies or personal interests at all. I've slept and worked and that's all. No wonder Andy lost interest.
So I'm turning over a new leaf. For myself. Not Andy. Fuck him for now. He's been entirely too critical of me lately. I am going to become the person I've always wanted to be and I'm going to do it on my own.
Andy is going to New Zealand for one month. He leaves tomorrow. He's testing ski bindings for Black Diamond. I'm relieved he's going. I am so tired of thinking about him. What will be, will be. Max says hello.
Monica
in
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Reader Comments (16)
What will be, will be - I agree with that. It hurts all the same sometimes!
*insert inappropriately mean yet hillarious comment re: monica's exboyfriend*
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