Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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Saving The Planet One Bottle At A Time

My astute young dog Max has recently undertaken the weighty task of recycling. I say 'weighty' because whether an abandoned bottle found on the street is full of liquid or empty, Max will determinedly carry it throughout the rest of the walk for immediate deposit into the blue recycling bin in front of our apartment upon our return. Ever since this unfortunate incident my young man is hell bent on saving the planet one bottle at a time and whoa unto those personages who do not recycle thine plastic! Granted I'm not sure if his recycling fever is largely due to the fact that the streets of Brooklyn are dirtier than an old man getting a lap dance in a downtown strip club or if Max is genuinely concerned about the future of our planet. I like to think it's the latter. After all, he is a sensitive young dog who has great compassion for the human condition. Well, he is!

Either way, during our twice daily walks my adopted black son will select a plastic bottle to bring home for recycle. And he's dead fucking serious about it. He's recently begun pouncing on glass liquor bottles faster than Mel Gibson at an Aryan Nation gathering in Malibu. Today it took some convincing that it probably wasn't a good idea to tote home the giant Vodka bottle left in the gutter (it was empty or I'd have carried it home myself). However, he did manage to lug home a nearly full soda bottle, dropping it every few minutes to rest and then soldiering valiantly onward. Just like our stalwart Mormon pioneer ancestors before us.

Reader Comments (21)

I knew I had another reason to adore your Lab!
September 5, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterkittenwtw
Max' second name must be Bruce Willis! Saving the world, not fearing any danger (like e.g. highly alcoholic liquids) ;-)
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterIwi
Amazing! And you say it's his own idea? Wow!
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterKate
Gotta love labs. They love carrying things and they are quite cute and clever. Yours is especially adorable. I have to say (while admitting my bias: I have a very cute lab. that lives with me and has for more than 12 years now) they are the gentlest, most intelligent breed (in my opinion). Yours is even politically correct and environmentally sound. I love it.

And, Max's photos and videos always make me smile, which I always need to do more of...
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered Commentermm
he is great!!! I'm impressed, I really am, he takes care of the future of our planet, smart boy! now we should be ashame...
you're great mum, you've brought him up very well:)
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterana
What a guy. My dog has recently undertaken the weighty task of shitting in his bedroom while the wife and I are at work. At first I thought he was sick. Now I just think he's being an asshole.
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterBrian
ADORABLE! I especially like the part where you ask him if he has his bottle and he gives it a little hitch in his mouth as if to say 'yep, it's right here!'.
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAimee
Between this story about Max and my interactions with the world's horniest boxer this weekend, I think I'm in love with dogs.
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterLiz
Everytime you write about Max I want a dog of my very own. Tears.
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterHeather B.
Thank you for posting this--I keep watching it and cracking up! My dog does something similar, although not nearly as noble--he is an avid rock collector. We can barely go for a walk because every fucking time he sees a rock, we have to stop and get it--and I was never so aware of rocks but trust me--there are a lot of them out there!
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAnn
Ahhh, so cool. I loved the sounds of New York in the background. Oh how I love that city. Made me wish I could hang out for the day with ya'll just walking through the village. Too bad I live in Charlotte. (sad)

September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterC Marie
youre not raising this dog mormon are you?
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterghost
My God no! Alas, due to The Surge's boundless curiosity about all things Mormon and all things historical, Max is well aware of his heritage.

May I present to you exhibit A:
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMonica
Need a dogsitter? I was laughing so hard!
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterGemma
So gorgeous!

Our dog sounds a bit like Brian's dog. After going out all day for 4 days while we had a visitor, we arrived home to find that our charming dog had pissed on our bed. Try to get that out of a mattress. We did get the message though.
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterNiedlchen
AAWWWW that made my day! That was the cutest thing in the world. Ok it is official, I miss having a pet!
How did you train him so well?
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterJen
Max = black, furry angel!
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterKaren D.
That is great!! And I love how Max's ghetto booty shakes when walks!!
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterHales
Oh Max! I love you. Monica, you have SUCH a Utah accent. "Good deal" - (pronounced: good dill). If that isn't a Utah accent I don't know what is!
September 7, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterJelloRules
So cute. I love how he drops the bottle whenever you tell him to wait, and then scrambles to pick it up again. Our Labrador Retriever hasn't retrieved anything in his life--I honestly think he thinks it's beneath him. Anyway, I didn't notice your Utah accent, but I also chuckled when you said "good deal"--I have only ever heard it here in the Midwest. Never heard it at all before I moved to the States.
September 7, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterPurr Meow
"Black adopted son" -- I love it!!! He's adorable... ;)
September 8, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterkelly

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