Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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Cabbage Soup For The Soul

Last week after Serge left for New York I got drunk three nights in a row. By myself. On Bud Light. Wednesday morning found me shame spiralling into a pool of personal embarrassment (and spilled beer). Which is usually only cured by another beer. Or four.

So I had a good chat with myself.
Are we in trouble here, self?
Self thought we were in trouble. Self brought up the fact that I am relying on alcohol to chill out after work almost every night.
But everyone has a beer or a glass of wine after work, don't they, I countered.
Self, that annoying bastard, brought up the fact that it's been at least three beers nearly every time I 'chill out from work'. Self actually mocked me!
But, I replied craftily, I know alcoholics and they're raging at bars until two and three in the morning and I'm usually in bed my midnight, one o'clock at the latest!
Because you pass out, self, that fucking self, sniggered.

So I pulled myself up by my bra straps and decided to cleanse my system of all the alcohol, the 7/11 nachos and mini Snickers stolen from co-workers desks. When I was younger I recall my mom occasionally cooking cabbage soup as a way to lose pounds and cleanse her system. Light Bulb! Why, I'll go on this cabbage soup diet and drain the beer from my body, says I!

****7 DAYS LATER****

It actually works. Am back on track. Haven't watched a marathon of The Hills whilst drunk in, well, in a week. And how was your week?