Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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Leftover Chinese For Breakfast

You know the initial pain when you stub your toe? The pain that, if anyone else, any well-meaning person who witnessed the accident, asks if you're okay, forces you to scream NO! I'M NOT FUCKING OKAY! The pain that hurts so bad your immediate reaction is to rip apart the chair, door frame, coffee table that committed such an atrocity on your innocent toe? Just wondering.

Last night, we were eating take-out Chinese (food, not people, that would just be gross) watching our King of Queens DVD. We love the King of Queens, we just do.
"Will you get me a Diet Coke?" Serge asked between all the animal-like chewing and slurping.
"Of course!" I answered perkily. Not because I'm a helpful wife like that but because it afforded me an excuse to get myself another glass of wine. I was on my way back, Diet Coke in hand, when I stubbed my toe.
"What!?" Serge asked when heard me leaping around and cursing like a drunken sailor. I hopped into his sightline.
"I... Fucking... Stubbed... MY TOE!
Knowing I wanted to pick up the dining room chair and heave it through the window and then use shards of glass to, perhaps, stab him in the heart just for being there, Serge kept a straight face and simply replied, "can you hand me my Diet Coke?" It was funny. Guess you had to be there.

I got my Christmas present from Serge early. Guess what? It's a Nikon D70 with a Nikkor 28-105 mm lens! If I could take a picture of my new camera with my new camera I totally would! Jesus, do you think he expects sex every night until Christmas? I am so excited. And a tad overwhelmed. I mean, learning to operate this bad boy (or is it a girl? Boats and cars are always girls, right? So what about my camera?) appears to be on par with learning to fly a F-16. But I'm up to the task.