Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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Marvin Gaye Said It Best

Make love.

Let's make love.

I want to make love to you.

Are you one of these people? The Let's Make Love types? I would rather lick Serge's armpit after one of his gigs than tell him I want to make love to you. If he said it to me I might have to divorce him on general principle alone. Make love. Who says that? You? Do you say that? With a straight face? And you aren't role-playing or pretending like you're a star on Young and the Restless? You probably call your boyfriend your lover too, don't you?

Now that I think about it, I'll bet several folks I know and love utilize that disgusting term and I just don't know it. I'd be horrified to learn that Natalie whispers it to Greg as they cuddle up for the evening. Make love. What does that mean? I picture a cartoon couple coming together and exploding into purple, red and pink hearts that float away like a bunch of helium balloons released into the sky. Or some industrious young couple in the kitchen throwing ingredients into a bowl and making a big batch of love! Make looove. It sounds like some ridiculous euphemism a parent made up to explain intercourse to a child that interrupted some steamy bedroom action.

Mommy what are you doing? How come Daddy's hurting you?
It's okay sweetheart, Mommy and Daddy are just making love.

That, I understand. Like calling a little girl's vagina her 'flower' or a boy's penis his 'bucky'. Mommy and Daddy are fucking or Mommy and Daddy are getting it on may be a tad alarming to an innocent 5-year old. But clinking wine glasses with your significant other, casting a seductive look from beneath lowered lids and drawling provocatively, let's make love... You should be shot.