Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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Life's Hard, It's Supposed To Be

Very often the dialogue in movies just slays me. The dialogue, pregnant pauses, specific scenes from particular movies... I mull the characters, their stories like they're actually friends of mine, fucking with me, sticking in my mind, slivers in my brain. And so, for me, I will keep that dialogue here, so I can look back and remember feeling so moved or inspired.

Before Sunset is full of these moments, the dialogue, the back and forth between Ethan Hawke and Julia Delpy just blows me away. In particular the scene at the end, in her apartment, when she plays him the song she wrote about him and then imitates the French singer they're listening to. Also, the ending? Fantastic. But there is a bit of dialogue earlier in the film, one of many bits, that strikes me... A concept I often turn over and over in my mind:

Yeah, but that's so hard! You know, to be in the moment, and I just feel like I'm... designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything... You know, I mean, like... always trying to better my situation. You know, I satisfy one desire, and it just... agitates another, you know? Then I think: to hell with everything, right? I mean, desire is the fuel of life.

I mean, do you think it's true that if...if we never wanted anything, we'd never be unhappy?

I don't know...

Not wanting anything, isn't that... a symptom of depression?

Yeah, that is, right?

I mean, it's healthy to desire, right?

Yeah...I don't know, I mean, it's what all those Buddhist guys say, right? You know, liberate yourself from desire and you'll find that you already have everything you need.

Yeah, but I feel really alive when I want something more than just basic survival needs. I mean, wanting whether it's... intimacy with another person, or a new pair of shoes, is kind of beautiful... I like that we have those ever-renewing desires.

Well, maybe it's just a sense of entitlement. You know, like whenever you feel like you deserve that new pair of shoes, you know. It's ok to want things as long as you don't get pissed off if you don't get them.

Yeah. Right, life's hard.

It's supposed to be. If we didn't suffer, we wouldn't learn a thing, you know?

--Before Sunset