Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
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Can I Tell You About My Day?

**UPDATE: If you are linking here via my esteemed journalism colleague Joel Campbell please read this response.

I've written about my issues with Mormonism before. Here, here and here and about a million other places on this blog. Oh, this one's pretty good too what with all the childhood ballyhooing of being a sunBEAM for Jesus.

I will give you this. I still have issues. Always will. But my lingering rage anger doesn't negate that when the church is full of shit, the church is full of shit.

Today I arrived at work to find that during a speech to BYU students in Idaho, a leader of the Mormon church, an apostle, if I'm to use their terminology, compared the backlash against those who voted for Prop 8 to the African American struggle for civil rights in the south.

After I picked my eyeballs up off the floor and shoved 'em back in my head I read the entire story being reported by the Associated Press. Did he really say that? I thought those cagey, old, white dudes hid their true feelings better than that.

He did. He said it. And elaborated for ages about why he totally believes it.

Well, that's just plain wrong and fucked up eight ways to Saturday, the special day, the day we get ready for Sunday. The story was being reported on the Associated Press but was embargoed until three in the afternoon. That means no media outlet is allowed to release details of the story (oooh look at the fancy journalism speak) until after three which is the same time Elder Dallin H. Oaks would finish giving the speech to a stadium full of rapt BYU students. A speech containing ridiculous statements about the terrible, awful, discrimination suffered by Prop 8 supporters, those poor, poor Prop Hate supporters seeking to keep fellow gay Americans from recognizing their full civil rights.

I read excerpts from the speech, including this:

In fact, the Proposition 8 battle was not about civil rights, but about what equal rights demand and what religious rights protect," he said. "At no time did anyone question or jeopardize the civil right of Proposition 8 opponents to vote or speak their views. The real issue in the Proposition 8 debate, an issue that will not go away in years to come and for whose resolution it is critical that we protect everyone's freedom of speech and the equally important freedom to stand for religious beliefs, is whether the opponents of Proposition 8 should be allowed to change the vital institution of marriage itself.

Is that the "real" issue then, Elder Oaks? It's critical that we protect your religious freedom while y'all do everything in your substantial power to deny civil rights to hundreds of thousands of Americans? Really? I shouldn't have been but was absolutely shocked that the church continues to demonstrate not only a bold intolerance to gay/civil rights but had the balls (be they old and wrinkled) to spin the shit 360 degrees and liken its own struggle to blacks in the south. I was, of course, immediately outraged and began stomping around the newsroom muttering like Yosemite Sam. I was largely ignored as my co-workers are used to this type of behavior from me.

Minutes later I composed myself and, at the request of Boss Lady, I placed a call to the very mysterious LDS public relations office populated by folks who, contrary to the duties the title spokesperson suggests, rarely appear on camera. I expressed our interest in the story and they provided me with some more information about Oaks' speech. A short time later I took to my Twitter page because, seriously people, if I don't tweet then it never really happened, right? My news-related tweets are a service I so generously provide to the public-at-large. How else would you know about my bunions and sexy behind-the-scenes news action? Because it is sexy, people. So sexy. As the Associated Press story was embargoed until the ol' boy finished his speech I was careful not to divulge details, only that I was working on a story about a speech delivered by an LDS apostle and had sent a reporter to get reaction from the NAACP.

Within minutes, I kid you not, MINUTES, the usually elusive LDS spokeswoman called me directly.

HER: I need you to take down your tweet.
ME: (still cringing at term "tweet" as it's brings farting to mind) Why? I didn't divulge any information contained in the embargo.
HER: Yes you did.
ME: No, thousands of people know Elder Oaks is delivering a speech at BYU-Idaho. They're at it right now. And the rest was simply me elaborating on what I'm doing in the newsroom which is sending a reporter to get reaction from the NAACP.
HER: But you wouldn't know to get the reaction from the NAACP without the embargoed story. TAKE DOWN THE TWEET.
ME: I don't understand. I did not release any information contained in the embargoed story. I am tweeting (cringe) about my day in the newsroom, not details of the embargoed story.
HER: I need you to take down the tweet.

At this point my hands were shaking because OH MY GOD THE LDS CHURCH WAS CALLING ME PERSONALLY TO MAKE ME REMOVE A TWEET and then I hung up. And TOOK DOWN THE FUCKING TWEET! I let myself be bullied by some stern-talking Mormon church spokeswoman even though I believed her to be wrong. I looked at the clock. The embargo was up in fifteen minutes anyway. I couldn't believe this woman was logging my tweets although I guess I shouldn't be surprised as my "visiting teachers" have miraculously tracked me from locale to locale, including to New York City, showing up with brownies and a Book of Mormon each time I move. But this woman took the time to hassle me about an embargo that was up in fifteen minutes when I hadn't even mentioned the actual contents of the appalling speech in the first place. Why?

Now, let me go back. As this was all going down, for various reasons, I was direct messaging on Twitter with She Who Needs No Introduction about unrelated issues.

I messaged her what was going on and she was all OMG! And I was, like, I KNOW! She said, It's news! They want to silence the news? And I kind of shrugged to her through my monitor because I was absolutely dumbfounded that SOMEONE FROM THE LDS CHURCH CALLED ME TO REMOVE A TWEET. Then she said, you need to tweet that, that the woman told you to take down your tweet and I said, I know! I should! REALLY YOU HAVE TO TWEET THAT. DO YOU SEE ME AND MY CAPS LOCK!!! And I did! Lo, I saw her and her caps lock and behold, I knew she was right. Here I was, me, complying with LDS church orders about my Twitter page.

Still, I was afraid. But why? I'm getting to that, stay with me.

I went into Boss Lady's office all teary-like because I really was all teary-like because did I mention the LDS church was forcing me to take down a tweet? I know you all think I'm this big, cursing, hard-ass and I am, I totally am! I WILL CUT YOU I SWEAR but I was so upset and having LDS flashbacks which are not unlike LSD flashbacks and probably worse. I told Boss Lady and Manager McManagerson what just went down. And can I just say I work for the two best motherfuckers around? They were so kind in response that I became down right verklempt. I'm not saying there were actual tears involved but let's just say that someone handed someone (a giant pussy) a tissue but that could also be because Manager McManagerson sneezed. They said they were glad I took the "offending" tweet down because there was no need to get into a thing with the church but then Boss Lady was like, you go tweet that they told you to take it down because of the embargo and Manager McManagerson said, man, why do they care, the embargo is up in five minutes anyway?

I raced back to my desk to tweet my stupid tweet BEFORE the embargo was up to kind of thumb my nose at The Evil Empire. Here was my big nose-thumbing:

Broke embargo. LDS church spokeswoman asked me to remove previous tweet about story we're working on. Full information in five minutes.

And you can bet that at three o'clock on the dot I damn near broke Twitter tweeting the contents of that speech. But I'm mad. Mad that I'm such a pussy. Mad that I wrote that I broke the embargo when I didn't. Mad that my knee-jerk reaction was to take down the tweet just like my reaction growing up was to fearfully and blindly oblige anything any LDS church leader said.

Old habits die really motherfucking hard, I guess.

Reader Comments (61)

Next time LDS people tell you to take down a tweet, you'll know you can say no thank you to them.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarianne C. Wille

I think you are crazy amounts of AWESOME.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErica

As if Heather's stories about Mormonism weren't sufficient enough to cause nightmares. Wow.
Hey, when The Prophet tells you you've Tweeted prematurely, what can you do but comply?

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDaddy Scratches

I cannot believe the news media accepted that embargo. It's sickening, to me, that there was any preferential or special treatment for a bullshit fest like that ...

Oh, and Monica? I was totally hearing the R&B version of "Wind Beneath My Wings" as I read your post ...

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria Vieira

I was born and raised in California here and it sickened me to know that a ton of prop 8 money and INFLUENCE came from outside the state. So if their argument is religious freedom then the rest of us non LDS have the right to our religious freedom don't we? Heck yeah! Besides it's a civil rights issues everyone should be afforded equal protection of the law and equal rights. Period. And I have to say President Obama sucks on this issue. People I invite you to come out of the dark ages into the now. Sorry did that have anything to do with this post? My marriage isn't threatened by same sex marriage. Go find another Satan.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWendy


You did a great job.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I agree that comparing Mormons to blacks is not a great analogy because Mormons choose their views and beliefs for themselves whereas blacks are born with their skin. So, the indignation of the church lacks some oomph.

However, if his point was merely that religious freedoms are protected under the constitution just like civil rights are protected under the constitution, that's a valid comparison.

What pisses people off is that it seems hypocritical to compare oneself to a group whose civil rights were suppressed when the whole reason people are trying to suppress your rights is because you're seen to be oppressing someone else's civil rights.


October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatasha

Next time you talk to these LDS people, please remind them that Jesus asked us to love one another, not judge one another. He stood up to authority for what was right, and you can, too.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica S

Um, I love you (even though I just met you...) and I WILL CUT anyone who calls you a pussy. You are not a pussy. Those fecking LDSs probably would have marched into your newsroom in their tidy white shirts had you not taken down your tweet.

By the way - nice to meet you.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpixiemama

They do have a way in the church to use this tone of authority and expect you to comply instantly. I have been "a lost sheep / inactive" for many years now. A few years after I left the church, the bishop decided he needed to have a chat with me and had his secretary (a man with a stern voice) call me to tell me that I should show up at the bishop's office on this date, at this time. The gall!!!! I told him to tell the bishop that if he really, really wanted to talk to me, he'd have to make an appointment with ME, and how up at a place that was convenient for ME, at a time that worked for ME. Never heard back from those boys again.
And regarding the whole "black like us" thing... Let's not forget that they were not allowed to receive the priesthood until fairly recently! But that history is already forgotten/excuses/dismissed, I guess.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAD

It took me 30+ years to grow a spine with regards to the LDS church. It literally makes me squeal in delight when I hear others doing the same. We've come a long way, baby!

P.S. I totally understand the angry tears.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWendy Phillips

This has gone from what might have been a bit of a ripple if the church had left it alone, since the embargo was up in a few minutes anyway, to having a MUCH larger audience based on the fact that they jumped through their collective ass and freaked out over one tweet (and may I just add that I had never before thought of the word "tweet" in a fartish manner but I WILL NOW), which led to your blog post and to Heather tweeting about it and bajillions more people knowing about it now than would have if they'd just kept quiet.

The story now is not just that they are backing intolerance, which is a big story on its own, but that they are using strong-arm tactics to try to stifle opposing opinions. Much bigger story and now known by a lot more people! (Now let's see if they try to get you to take down this blog post.)

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJan

I wouldn't feel too bad about saying you broke the embargo. There's only so much you can explain in 140 characters or less.

Oaks' comments make more sense if you look at them from a legal background. This is just a case where rights really conflict and Oaks is doing his best to protect the rights of those who want to discriminate against homosexuals, just like people can legally discriminate against Mormons. Really, if the government weren't involved in marriage in the first place, this would be a non issue.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDot A

A big reason why we left Catholicism is because of their teachings on gays. I put up with it for a little while, but once we had children we weren't going to let anyone preach intolerance to our kids. I also saw the treatment my gay sister-in-law received from the Church and her very 'religious' Aunts once she came out, and that was enough for me....

I talk a good game, but anytime I come in contact w/ a priest I'm still an obedient little school girl who doesn't want to displease Father.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrissy

As an official ex-Mormon and journalist, I'd like to weigh in on the issue of LDS hypocrisy, if I may.

Does anyone but me find it ironic (and unlike Alanis Morrisette, I do know the difference between irony and coincidence) that the Mormon church is spending millions of dollars defending the sanctity of the "vital institution of marriage" between one man and one woman CONSIDERING ITS LONG, STORIED HISTORY OF POLYGAMY? Considering that the church waahh waahh waahed for decades about being persecuted because members weren't allowed to practice marriage in their own special one man, lots o' women way, wouldn't empathy rather than bullying be the way to go here?

This galls me ESPECIALLY because it remains church doctrine (though it is vague and squishy to be sure.) When "righteous" men die and become gods themselves, they get their very own planets AND MULTIPLE WIVES. (Kind of like the 17 virgins the Muslims get, only most of them will be used.) And if you asked the dragon PR lady about THAT (and I use the term PR loosely), you'd get some assurances that God will sort it out in the end (the response I get from my still-Mormon relatives.)

OK, then how about we let GOD sort out the issue of gay marriage in the end?

And jeez. Talk about bullies. I'm tweeting (argh) this blog post to everyone I know.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterblacksheepAZ

I came here via Heather's tweet (hee hee)

I too am a former Mo and I am absolutely astounded at this!! What bullshit...

That's right mormons, I say BULL SHIT TO YOUR APOSTLE!!!

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarahK

Give me back the 10% of the money you stole from me all those years and I'll take down the tweet.


October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJason

Thank you for your post--I read Dooce and find all of this information eye-opening. Considering your professional position, I would have done the same (and had the same physical reaction).

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Beans, beans the musical fruit.
The more you eat the more you... "tweet?"

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStfarmer

Frankly, it was the tweet that said you had to take down the tweet that made me more interested in the story. Hell, you should try it for every broadcast. A criminal just made me take down my tweet from 5 minutes ago - more at 11.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

No need to fear threats from inbred redneck bullies who worship a laughable load of made up shit. Tweet away.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lord

I think this is why it hurts my feelings so much:

"Give me back the 10% of the money you stole from me all those years and I'll take down the tweet.


I was raised as a Mormon and slowly weaned myself from the koolaid over the past 10 years. As many have said, Prop 8 was the last straw. I don't have any LGBT friends, but I cannot stand by and watch the church I grew up in and learned the lyrics "As I have loved you/Love one another" do this to loving couples and families. It's the tithing that just sends me over the edge.. They are using millions of dollars worth of tithing to pay for this campaign for Prop 8, some of those pennies were scraped together by families that can barely get by in the belief that if they send in their 10% they will receive blessings. Disgusting.

Sorry, that was a bit of a tirade. Don't worry about the wording of the embargo tweet. I wouldn't have known about it at all if you and Heather hadn't gotten the word out there, and that is what is important.

Thank you. Thank you.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

My sister wives and I all applaud you. You go girl. I heard that at the end of orientation at BYU Utah, all the students were required to fill the stadium to sing hymns. Sounds like a fun place to go to college.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Damn y'all. Did you see that up there? You totally know you've made it when The Lord comments on your blog. I'm so nervous now!!! Does this blog make my ass look big?

October 14, 2009 | Registered CommenterMonica

I, too, came here via Dooce. I don't pay attention to the news anymore & would have never known without the Tweet Scandal, so please don't be hard on yourself for wording or even removing it. Like it was commeted before - because of her bullying, the issue has just been even further exposed. Mormons have long made me laugh - beginning with the Angel Moroni & moving forward - but they are now just viewed as dispicable in my eyes. It is not a church's call to cast judgement upon other people. It is to LOVE and GUIDE THROUGH LOVE. If they truly believe God has control, then they should shut their hypocritical mouths and let Him handle it.

I never understood why so many religious groups believed the only way to "convert back" gays was by abuse, osterization, neglect, and hate. Really? "Oh yes, please! You've taken away my rights & treated me like scum - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me convert to your heterosexual ways!"

Fail. Eff them. GO YOU!

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Never back down from what you have to say, you have iron balls, use them!

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Perfect timing, my big Mormon uncle and his family are in town from AZ. Well his wife, who asks the most innappropriate questions, started asking about my personal life. Well my roomy is gay, and she said well then I guess you live with two guys! I said no, just Chris, and she said well I am sure he has a lover who lives there all the time too, and she made a dirty eeww face. I wanted to slap her. I said no, Chris is single. Then she wanted to know why I have so many gay friends, on and on. You could just tell she didn't like the whole situation, and i am sure she could tell I just wanted to punch her! It's funny, b/c my Aunt Judy, she has nothing against gay people, she sees them just like anyone else! She is a very devout Mormon, well I say that b/c she wears garments, so you would think she was.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I just cried reading this very amusing and yet very poignant post. I'm glad @dooce linked to it. It just stirred up all those former-Mormon emotions of being bullied by the Brethren. Gack!

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter@tashabouvier

You are totally right!
These people shouldn't be allowed to have their own opinions.
Your opinion is clearly superior and all others should be banished.
Based on some of your tweets, I can see how one might compare tweeting to farting.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSome Dood

You did the right thing, and it totally makes sense that the LDS Lady scared you a bit--- there's no way you'll ever ~forget~ your history with The Church and all The Rules.

Also, I'm sure all your straight, female readers have a girl crush on you- it's well deserved!


October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I am absolutely disgusted that my family thinks that I am the one going to hell when they believe in a church that teaches hate towards their fellow men. I'll have to ask my parents why "Love Thy Neighbor" doesn't apply to gays. The whole thing just breaks my heart.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCindi

Sometimes you just gotta shake your head in disbelief….

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate Kendell

I can't believe we're in the year 2009 and equal rights for everyone is still an issue. Seriously blows my mind.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

I see why Dooce loves you. I moved to Utah in 1981 and lived there for 18 years. At the first, as an adult, it was fine. Shortly thereafter I had children. I will say that the church, through many, many of its members made my life miserable as a non-mormon,. It took time, but as soon as the opportunity availed itself we fled. I still have many close friends there and you are right about the flashbacks. Anyway, all that was just so you would know I really do understand what you went through when I say you did great and I am very, very impressed.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVixen

I couldn't have said it better myself. Keep speaking your it!!

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGale Compton

I think every church, and not just the Mormon one, is wrong on this issue. Look at the Catholic view on homosexuality, and then compare that with the thousands of cases where priests molesting young boys was covered up and denied by the same people that think homosexuality is a mortal sin.

Surely two consenting adults getting it on together is much less of a sin than a dirty old man raping a child?

Oh, I forget, he isn't a dirty old man, he's a servant of God, and we all know that God works in mysterious ways!

Religion is all about hypocrisy, do as we say, not as we do, and fear.

The only thing any of us can be certain of is that one day we are going to die, and the religious freaks try to control us with promises of how we can be rewarded AFTER we die if we live by their rules.

Personally, I don't feel the need to believe in a mythical being sat on a cloud who is watching everything I do and making notes in a plus/minus column so he can decide what to do with me when I die.

I believe that things like stealing and murder are wrong. Having sex with the neighbors wife, while it could undoubtedly be fun, is also not really a good way to behave.

But I don't believe in God, which means I am destined to spend eternity in damnation. Hang on though, surely if I don't believe in God, I must also be exempt from his punishments?....

An interesting concept, and one to discuss with myself at a later point!

Anyway, keep spreading the news. The world relies on the few people in the newsroom like you who are not slaves to the system and only spreading the 'official' word!

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDamien

Why oh why is this stuff so hushed to the rest of the world? We lived in Logan for 7 years - Lutherans in a "world" where so few Lutherans lived. I literally thought we lived in a third-world country - commu-socialism at its finest. Thank the good Lord we came in as Lutherans and we left as Lutherans. I even put my kids in a Catholic school once we left, praying that it would help them discover the Bible as the only true word of God (not necessary, I know now, as they were too young to endure the LDS world around them). I realize my pain of living there is completely different than yours as a previous member of the LDS cult - but, when we realized that all news in the northern region of the state was filtered through the LDS-owned outlets in SLC, we refused to watch the news. Call them ALL on the carpet - OWN your own right to free speech. The world has GOT to know that "Deliverance" didn't happen just in a movie set in the south -- it's happening everyday in Utah!

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTammom

Never read your blog before, but i came here from the link @dooce tweeted.

I am a gay man, and much like Karen, i totally have a platonic crush on you now.

I'm definitely making your blog a daily stop on my internet routine.

hmmm... i hope that didn't sound too creepy.

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCurlyJ

You have big ovaries and I love you for it. Keep carryin' 'em sistah!

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie Oakie

You have no right to be angry over being born into Mormanism or the morals and good things they instilled in you...

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDave Henderson

"You have no right to be angry over being born into Mormanism or the morals and good things they instilled in you..."

Rubbish. The mormon pseudo-religion is _completely_ devoid of ethics and true morality.

I'd be angry too, if I'd been born into a scam that is an insult to the intelligence of mankind.

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNotSoFast

Ugh--this whole mess is ridiculous. I'm an ex-Mormon, Californian and "No on 8" supporter who was appalled at the Mormon's involvement as well as Oaks' comment. And isn't it interesting that the church that is suposedly all about families also wants to dictate what classifies as one and seeks to dismantle and vilify others' families.

I have every right to be angry over SOMEONE ELSE'S morals imposed on me. Alleged morals that have me TO THIS DAY feeling ashamed of my body, weird about sex... Issues instilled in my mother by her mother and her mother and by several, seemingly perverted bishops asking a 14 year old me intensely detailed, creepy questions about my sex life. I HAVE EVERY RIGHT!

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Girl Who...

@ Brooke Just so you know, tithing funds were not used to back Prop 8. The church would lose its non profit status if it did that. They are not allowed to use donations to back any political issue/campaign. Any $$ from church members would have been a private personal donation.

October 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

Yes, let's talk about the church's nonprofit status. Legally nonprofits aren't supposed to influence legislation and laws yet the church encouraged their members to donate millions to support Prop Hate?

October 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGemma

I started falling away from the mormon church after working next to the church office building. They are buying the downtown mall and investing sick amounts of money into this.

There are kid's in 3rd world country without clean water, and this is where the sink their money?

By their fruits you shall know them...

October 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCJ

I came here from the Mormon Curtain. I'm appalled at the way the church treated you like that. Geez, are they on some hate campaign? Was that woman part of the SCMC?

October 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI'm Alive!

when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition.......... in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn...... ere he is aware, he is left unto himself, to kick against the pricks, to persecute the saints, and to fight against God

October 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPlumber

Prop 8 split my family to shreds and I'm disgusted by the whole thing.

This was quoted by various family members at a recent gathering.

Only it was in a "good way".


(Of course, I was not overly surprised as this is also family who had the tamest, most mediocre non-reaction that I got myself and my UBER CONSERVATIVE husband a flippin' PERSONAL INVITE TO THE WHITE HOUSE in 3 wks because of a post about health care reform. You know, because it's THAT White House and was I really sure I wanted to go? Barf.)

I'm an inactive and fairly middle of the road and registered as a Republican (cause, HI I am in Cache Valley Utah). I swear between this and health care I am going to become a registered Dem. Ugh.

October 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLoralee

THE WHITE HOUSE? Hot damn! Can I come? Just saw your baby laugh and I could watch that all day and not tire of it.

Also, in response to PLUMBER: These are not the droids you're looking for.

October 20, 2009 | Registered CommenterMonica

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