Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
You can also find Monica's writing here:
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Brown or Blonde?

I am hopelessly addicted to Howard Stern. Addicted to all of satellite radio, for that matter. Haven't heard Bret Michaels sing Every Rose Has Its Thorn enough on Rock of Love? Satellite. Have a hankering for the Doobie Brothers? Satellite. Or find them on YouTube. This video, man I love this video. For the past several days I've arrived home from work to find Serge grooving to this tune. I totally dig the lead singer who looks just like my husband. And I defy you not to groove to this video. You'll have it on and you'll be toe tapping, suddenly you're pulling Travolta moves, doing The Hustle and eventually moonwalking across the floor.

But satellite. Wanna listen to head up their ass Sufjan Stevens - Bright Eyes - type music? Satellite. All Sinatra all the time? Satellite. Need a little Pet Shop boys with a dash of Culture Club? When I was younger I thought the lead singer of Culture Club was so beautiful. Flawless skin, cool make up... she was just so hip. Ahem. Not to mention every news channel, comedy channels and my beloved Howard Stern. How anyone tolerates regular radio anymore is beyond me. Where I'm going with this commercial for satellite radio is also beyond me. Only that I'm going to try to get back to posting every day. It keeps me honest. Makes me admit when I'm drinking too much (last week) or when I want to stab Serge in the stomach, open a bottle of wine and gargle with a dry cabernet while watching him slowly bleed to death (last Saturday). However, it could be entertaining for longtime readers as you'll now get his perspective

Onward. And upward. After feeling like a walking corpse for the past several months I decided to go tanning over the weekend. Instead of the glowing just-got-back-from-Hawaii bronze I hoped for I feel like a burnt piece of bacon. Ass afire. Ah well. If I'm lucky I'll get a touch of color by week's end without shedding like a snake. Also, for the benefit of my coworkers I'm trying to get back in the habit of wearing a bit of make-up. Poor gang has put up with my bare, fugly mug the whole shitty pregnancy. One other thing in conjunction with the whole self-improvement movement - and because so few people read the blog now I guess I'll open up comments for this one; should I stay brown or go back to blonde? Who's still reading? Go.

Reader Comments (89)

You look hot as a brunette -- the color compliments your eyes. Plus, isn't blonde kinda hard to maintain?

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercitywendy

I agree. Brunette. And it's 1000000 times easier to maintain - which is key for a busy, devoted mummy like yourself ;)

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I'm still reading. I vote brunette. It is fun and different.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzie

love the brunette look, also love reading your and serge's blogs. keep on rocking.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteranila

I vote for the blonde. Just wanted to say that I love your writing and was sad when you closed your blog. I'm about to have my first baby in two months, and can imagine what that post-baby blah feeling must be like...I'm already anxious to get back to my bumpless me. Keep up the great writing!

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLehdys

Still reading. Have been for a long time.
You looked damn good blonde. Go back.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

Red. As in Redhead.

Monica, I read your blog EVERY DAY, I love it! It's one my greatest pleasures in life! i find you endlessly funny and incredibly human, genuine and real! Please do NOT stop posting--EVER! You give me laughs and perspective! And as for the color of your hair, I'm brunette, so I've always loved that about myself. I personally think you look beautiful as both a blonde and a brunette...however, that is up to you. I'll think about as my day goes on and hopefully you'll still be accepting comments later. I think blonde is more you, but again, brunette is more mature. I don't know, let me think about it! God Bless you always,, Serge and little Violet! I'm so enjoying following your journey together!
Love & Blessings Always,
-Sarah Liz :)

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Liz

I'm With The Domestic Goddess ! Go Red !!!

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrett

I really enjoy your blog and am glad to have the opportunity to let you know. I like the brunette look on you, it's less generic than the blonde. Red is awesome, but also very difficult to maintain. Of course I'm currently a brunette with purple stripes so I may not be the best judge on this issue.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjeneria

Definitely blonde. Definitely.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Go blonde, definately makes you look younger and less matronly, not that you have that problem b/c you are hot! But that is my humble opinion.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I found your blog again after getting shut out awhile ago, just wanted you to know, as for the hair color do whatever is easier, you look great both ways

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteranne

Brown. Case closed.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterserge

Still reading after four years. Blonde, definitely blonde.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGemma

It's almost summer - which makes me think blonde. How about a lighter brown with some blonde highlights? You look beautiful either way.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCindi

I vote blonde. And generally, I always choose brunette, but I really like blonde on you. Since you asked.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentererose

blonde seems more "you"

brown seems damn easier.

i have no answer.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterleyla

Hey Monica,

Love your blog! You're an incredible writer and always entertain.

Let's see, I think I'm going to vote for blonde on this one (not that I didn't like the brown). I just think the blonde goes better with your eye color and skin tone.


May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle2

I am a brunette and I think you look great in both, but the blonde brings out your eyes??

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKylie

Okay, I thought about it! Blonde...I went and ran my errands, then came back and looked at your photos on Flickr, and I definately think you should go blonde again. I think it suits you more; it's wilder, brighter...and that's you. Brunette may be too tame for you. Having a baby, I know, tames you, and it has, and it should...but I think your skin tone looks better when you're blonde. It may be harder to maintain, but I think Blonde suits you. Besides, if you google yourself, the pictures that come up of you are all of you as a blonde. Just saying! Yes, please post every chance you can, because I love, love, love reading your blog! I have one too! I'm going to start posting more often too! It DOES keep me real and honest, and if nothing else, it's a living diary (for the world to read mind you) of what's happening in my life! I always enjoy reading older entires--of my blog, and of yours! You're one of my favorite writers, and I agree, your regular updates would totally conicide with Serge's--who I'm also keeping up with! Thank you very much! You both are great writers who inspire me as writers, and as husband and wife. I've been married 2 months on Thursday and it is flat out the most wonderful, amazing, blessed and most difficult complicated thing I've ever done! Your blog helps keep my own marriage real and in perspective. I'm sure parenting is much harder than marriage, but one step at a time! God Bless all of you, always! And once again, I vote blonde! But it's your hair and your it the way YOU want to--all we ask is that you post about it along the way! Reading your ups and downs makes us feel better about ourselves and we cheer you on more than you will ever know!!! At least I do! Take care and keep writing!
Love & Blessings Always,
-Sarah Liz :)

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Liz

I vote for blonde!

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarahO

Blonde. Definitely. It suits you...not sure how, but it does! And I'm still reading so you better keep on writing! :)

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Listen to your husband! (that is the one and only time I will say that) ;).

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRichelle

Longtime reader, first time to comment:
I agree with Cindi's comment regarding a lighter brown with some blonde highlights. As long as this is performed by an expert colorist that would make sure the highlights did not look streaky, this would be something that would look very natural (I doubt anyone would think your natural hair color would be anything other than a very light brown) and complement your eyes and coloring without being difficult to maintain and without the roots appearing too stark as they came in. The summer sun will soon give your hair and skin a glow (sans any need for future tanning salon sessions) that will look great and only be enhanced with a lighter brown and some highlights.
Love your blog - you keep it real, funny and honest when so many bloggers are too busy with describing their Etsy purchases and all the food they sampled with their wonderful spouse on some exotic vacation!

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKris

I'm still reading, and I vote for whatever makes you feel like you. Either that's listening to your husband, or going with what's tried and true, but I hope you have fun either way!

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteremily

I think brunette looks good but is too serious on you. I prefer blonde on you. From the pics anywayz.

Ok. That said, if it were me I would get as close to my natural color and leave it the hell alone. I went gray at 18 and after half my life of hair dye.....I could scream. Go natural!!! (or blonde :) )

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersusan

I think you look great blonde or brunette, but since your man likes the brown hair I'd go with that. Sooo glad your blogging again! I just adore you and your writing. Don't ever go on hiatus again! Oh, and your baby girl is delicious!

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

holy crap. to read these comments is insane. these people have been salivating for this chance to comment on YOU...which allows them to 'touch' you. you are indeed a large part of their imaginary worlds. they get their fix from you. when you disappear, they're left shaking.
mind you, 'the girl who', i am no different as i read your blog 'religiously''s fun/reassuring in my ordinary life to read about other people's problems. our imagination provides so much more to your writing and uneventful life in SLC.
i would love to see how (or if) they respond to 'real life' surveys. HA
thanks for sharing.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterV

Oh stop! It's all in fun. And who the fuck responds to "real life" surveys? Deciding someone's hair color is SO much more exciting.

May 5, 2009 | Registered CommenterMonica

Having been both, there's something mysterious about being a brunette, but I just feel much happier as a person when I'm blonde. You look gorgeous either way, but with summer coming brightening up your haircolor can brighten up your spirits. It's harder to maintain, but worth it. Go blonde.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Ok, blonde. That's final.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterserge

You're just saying that because of brunette pregnancy fat face.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Girl Who...

If you keep linking the term "brunette" with the term "pregnancy fat face", then you are going to influence the votes.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterserge

okay.. in the name of equality and all I put up a new brunette pic so no more pregnancy fat face.

May 5, 2009 | Registered CommenterMonica

I am partial to the blonde you. It seems to suit your personality so much more than brown. Both picture are lovely though. I wish you'd keep comments open on all your posts. So many times I've related and wanted to say something and couldn't.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGemma

Still here, so happy you're posting regularly again! Stay brown- I think it looks great!

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAdrienne

even your xmas pictures didn't look fat. You just looked pregnant. And not in a bad way. I wish I looked more like you did ready-to-pop than I do now. And I'm not pregnant. Nor over 20.

Anyway, I don't see it split down the middle at all. I see a majority of "blonde"

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

I realize that you're an adult and you already know this but... tans are bad, y'all. A tan is just skin damage. Wear sunscreen and stay away from the frying salon. I mean, tanning salon.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeronica


May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNan

The eyes just pop with the brown. It's so exotic!!!

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdez

The blonde is hot. I'm so glad you're back to stay.

May 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Hair color is just hair color. Concentrate on your soul, you know? I know you know.

May 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOut There USA

Chrissake. One post on hair color doesn't mean I've abandoned my soul. Hell, five posts on hair color doesn't mean that. But thanks for playing!

May 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Girl Who...

I'm a natural blonde and so want to be a brunette. Never have tried another hair color, but liking the light brown with highlights idea. I might try that. Good luck deciding and I hope you, Serge and Violet are happy with whichever you decide. And cross your fingers for me, too!

May 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCD

Still here, still reading your blog... I'm totally addicted and, I know it's crazy, I was sad when you disappeared from the net, 'cause it was like... losing a friend! Glad you're back!

I like both, but blonde gives you an happier look. Maybe you could try shorter hair?

Btw, you're beautiful, before and after pregnancy!

May 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSerena from Italy

Hi Monica.

Been reading your blog for a while now. I love your writing style. Keeps me entertained to no avail. As for the hair colour...Blonde is hot, you look very sexy. But the brunette is much more complementing as it does bring out the blueness of your eyes. I have dark hair and have always loved my sultry brown locks. Stick with the brunette. x

May 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara

I'm still here! I say brunette! You really do look great either way, but I'm partial to the brunette and then you also match baby girl--and she is too adorable to NOT match, right? :)
And I know what you mean...I went tanning for the first time in years and years and years. Ass afire. Absolutely.

May 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeronica

I love the blonde photo, it just seems more "you" than the brunette.
Happily reading your blog for about 3 years now! :0 )

May 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVicki

blonde, why, I guess you look younger, so maybe let's be able to stop the time flying, don't you think? :) and make reservation for brunette, hmmm, let's say in 10 years :)

May 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterana

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