Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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Item: Diarrhea at work sucks. Man, does it suck. Like, what are you supposed to do if you're speedwalking for the restroom like a coked up housewife out for morning exercise and someone is already in there? Not that this happened to me today or anything. I was just hypothesizing. But if it does happen to you? Those cans of Lysol one sometimes finds next to the shitter? They don't cover up the smell. They mingle with the smell. They go square-dancing with the smell. Do-si-do-ing 'round the bathroom like a drunken western couple on date night, excited to show off their skills to anyone who ventures near.

Item: At work? When I miss my daughter I watch all my flickr videos of her and it makes me feel better. If it gets really bad I watch this and snuffle back tears at my desk. I love her.

Item: Just the act of going to therapy with Serge makes me like him more. I also find myself attracted to him as he explains things to TheRapist. I have even wondered if she is secretly attracted to him. Not because she acts like it. At all. But because I think he's such a sweet, sensitive, intelligent soul that maybe she just can't help but notice too. Then we drive home and he says something stupid and he's annoying again.

Item: It makes me giggle that a bolt of lightning struck the statue of Moroni that perches atop the Mormon temple. Perhaps God is finally getting around to warning the Mormons about all their proselytzing. But if I know Mormons, and I think I do, they won't let a little lightning stop them from spreading the good word.

Item: Really. The diarrhea thing was totally a hypothetical.