Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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Thursday Morning Quarterbacking

I'm having a tinge of regret about a news story we broke yesterday. Not really regret so much as concern for innocent parties. Then again, dude shoulda thought about that before he did what he did.

Wait, let me go back.

Remember that cute lil' fella David Archuleta who was runner-up to David Cook on last season's American Idol? Well, we got tipped off that his dad was busted for soliciting a prostitute. All things considered, it's a good story. Family put themselves in the spotlight, had no problem utilizing FOX for publicity, has portrayed themselves as devoutly religious. Dad pleaded no contest to the crime. Cops tell us Dad even admitted to the crime. We responsibly cover all journalistic bases, calling Archuleta to offer a chance to tell his side of the story before we go to air. His slippery attorney eventually calls us. We've done our job. Still. I feel bad.

Perhaps because I could give fuck-all about prostitution, think it should be legal, even. Somebody wants to pay for a little action that somebody else wants to provide? No minors involved? More power to 'em, I say. Have a good time. So I don't consider the offense to be so very grave. HOWEVER. Most Mormons would and that's the religion the family has touted from the get go. But we aren't the moral police. Which doesn't matter because it is a crime. We don't cover every solicitation citation but this guy put himself out there as a public figure. Think Larry Craig and a thousand others that came before him. I'm really just thinking out loud here, trying to sort out where my guilt is coming from. I guess just because little David seems like a really nice kid, I hate to have played an integral role in tossing a grenade of this caliber into his familial mix. But like I said, Dad should of thought about that, no?

Conclusion: As much as I like to secretly read Us Weekly and its ilk I could never work for those bastards. I much prefer to take politicians down a peg or two. It's a check and balance required for government to function properly. Morally policing stage dads of semi-stars doesn't interest me much. Sure is a watercooler story though. And I'm always up for ripping off the Mormon mask to reveal what lies beneath.