Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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He's Going In...

I have a doctor appointment today. The one where he, uh, well... He's going in, y'all. And he had better come up for air with some good news. Something like your cervix is mushy! Also? It's open wide! Because I've decided I'm done being pregnant.
...the state of affairs down there is a mystery to me because I can’t see anything! Forget 40 weeks. Doctors should consider inducing when pregnant women can no longer reach to wipe their bums. I won’t be surprised if my vagina just up and bites his whole hand off for all I know what’s doing down there.
It's what I'm babbling about today.