Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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I Got This, I Think

We leave for Pennsylvania in two weeks. Did you hear me? Two weeks! That is, like, fourteen days. Sometimes I feel like I have everything under control but most of the time I am certain I am forgetting Very Important Things. These Very Important Things will likely rear their ugly heads at The Last Moment and I will have an Anxiety Attack.

Why do I keep capitalizing things? I Don't Know!

Serge has become obsessed with spotting moving trucks. Us driving: Did you see that truck? What size do you think that truck was? It's all I can do to keep him from chasing moving trucks like some creepy ambulance chaser. We are renting from Penske and the debate over whether we should get a 22 foot truck versus a 26 footer has been intense and involved him pacing around the house, eyeballing furniture and counting in his head. Counting what, I don't know, but it was a Very Serious Project.

Every time we drive by random Penske locations, which, you'd be surprised how many there are when you're inclined to see them, he flips a U-turn and sits in the parking lot eyeballing the two different truck sizes and muttering to himself. One time he even got out of the car and, as Henry, Violet and I watched, proceeded to pace between a 22 foot truck and a 26 foot truck, waving his hands as if loading furniture into each truck in his mind. This is serious business, y'all.

Finally, he reserved a 22 footer but just now, when I asked him what size we reserved - for the purposes of accurately writing this blog because God knows I can't remember which size he booked - a pained expression immediately took up residence on his face and he said maybe we should reserve the 26 foot truck instead. But maybe not. I think I just ruined his night.

Me? I've been packing. Stuff we won't need to use in the next two weeks. Books, mostly. And knick-knacks, all the framed pictures from our walls, that kind of stuff. So our house is quite bare, or at least the walls are, which makes the entire house feel empty. The maze of boxes in the corner of the living room is growing ever bigger, as is my list of Things To Do. Address change. Get SUV serviced and ready to roll. Get car set to be shipped. Schedule utilities to be turned off in Utah. Schedule utilities to be turned on in Green Acres. Do they have garbage service or is it so countrified that we must burn our garbage in a barrel in the backyard like Uncle Dave? Turns out, they have garbage service, thank Jesus. While I'm excited to plant a large garden and maybe even compost, and maybe even fulfill Serge's dream of owning chickens, I am not quite ready to burn my own garbage.

Did I mention that the Fox News Channel contacted me to debate an article I wrote for Babble LIVE ON THE AIR? Have I mentioned I blink a lot when a camera is trained my way? I told them yes because it would be a good thing for Babble but am secretly hoping the logistics for the Friday morning live shot don't work out, somehow, and I am off the hook. What if I stutter and blink a lot on live national television?

I am kind of freaking out. If one can kind of freak out. Seems to me freaking out is an all or nothing kind of deal. What I mean is I am freaking out quietly on the inside while maintaining a tough "I got this" exterior. But do I have this? Do I?

Reader Comments (20)


June 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterserge

Doofus. Go measure some more moving trucks.

June 6, 2011 | Registered CommenterMonica


June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

PS Please post video of all your eye-blinking!!!

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

You can never have to much space in a moving truck. My family of 4 + 2 dogs = 6 has used a 26 foot truck on 3 cross country moves and I highly recommend the 26 ft. One more piece of advice, look for all the small stuff in each room and pack it. I am all ways looking around thinking a room is packed and the morning of the move there is shit everywhere to be packed or thrown away.

June 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJocelyn

I noticed you said "it would be a good thing for Babble" and not "I want to do this." I wouldn't give Fox News a shot at me. They're monsters and I fear they're baiting you.

Burning garbage? Really? That is so. . .remote. But hooray to gardens and composting! For the record, I've never composted so I don't know if it's hooray or not, but it sounds like something to cheer about!

Sounds like y'all got this!

June 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjeneria

We just did this on May 27th. Moved from little Logan, UT to Ohio. The drive suuucks aaaasssss. (I don't know what that means - but it doesn't sound awesome). I'd go with the 26 ft truck as well. We had a teeny bit of room left over but it was nice to know that all of our stuff would fit - before we packed the truck. It would suck to pack up the 22 footer, find out not everything fits, have to rent the 26 footer, and unload and reload everything.

As far as forgetting important things: I had a legal sized envelope with our marriage license, a name change application (still haven't changed it after almost two years), my passport, and social security card...that I lost. I fucking lost it.

Good luck!

June 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Look, just don't cornered into talking about Paul Revere.

My friend actually had to reload from one smaller truck to a larger one. A living nightmare. I would suggest the larger one, but you might try this:

As for the Fox News spot, I would do it if only for the exposure!y, cause you're, you know, you're The Girl Who babbles.

June 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina


June 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Dude, I'd be skeered of the FOX too.

And I always recommend the bigger truck. So much better to have too much space than not enough!

June 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSadie

Not sure if you have obtained certified copies of the kids' birth certificates before you move. They are usually easier to obtain when you live in the county that they were born in.

June 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

Hey Monica, Be excited for 4 weeks from now when you are in your new place stressing about whether you should just unpack that last box already...btw you should leave it for later b/c if you haven't needed anything in the box for 2 weeks then its fine right where it is ;)
Of course you've got this. Just like every other woman in the world has got it! You just deal with things as they know day by day blah blah blah...haha
Seriously...just think about 4 weeks from today...

June 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Oh, I also vote for the 26 ft truck...way better to have the space and not need it then the reverse...just it really that big of a cost difference? Sorry I know I could check but you already have the info right.. :)

June 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I want to know about this Fox News thing... what are you debating? And, will you tell us when it airs? Wait, you said Friday... anyway, I am interested... I could (I cannot believe I'm about to type this) DVR the bit of time...

June 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNoelle

I vote for chickens...Yes, go for the chickens! Fresh eggs are great and the kiddies will have a blast collecting them. Safe travels to PA.

June 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterangieg

If you call a moving company, they will come out and give you a free estimate of how much it would cost to move your stuff -- and the size of the truck they'd use (or how many cubic feet of a semi your stuff would take up). You don't have to actually hire them, but you could put Serge's mind at ease by getting a professional opinion. Good luck! We've done cross country moves 4 times, and they are never easy.

June 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSonia

Extras: A couple of rolls of paper towels, butt wipes, a box of large Ziplock bags, a spray bottle full of cool water incase it's really hot out and you need a spritz. And an umbrella. And a flashlight.

June 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Moving is awful no matter where you are going. Good luck! I say its better to be safe then sorry and get the 26 footer!

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCait

I'd say get the bigger truck. Save yourself the hassle of cramming or not having enough space.

When we moved I fought my husband for daaaayyyysss on renting a smaller truck (because I am cheap), but he insisted on the big ass hauler. Well... it turns out that our tiny apartment held a lot more than I thought. We had all of our furniture, boxes of clothes, lamps, old files, dishes, random "things" we-just-had-to-keep-for-who-the-hell-knows, artwork.... all that fit into a huge hauler like a puzzle. It was sorta scary.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpookie mama

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