Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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LIVE BLOGGING From Dysfunction Junction

One of the most common things I read on the internet about myself, Serge and our marriage is that we're dysfunctional. It's written about in threads and on message boards and blog posts as if those who write the mean comments have uncovered a huge secret. Like we didn't intentionally write the blog posts for you to read and on which these people base their negative opinions. Posts like this one and this one). They write about our "dysfunctional" marriage and speculate on when the divorce will be announced like it's a secret that we've had some serious doozies up in here. Like they stole our diaries and are revealing our marriage secrets to the world as if we didn't write the shit specifically for you to read.

We read that kind of trash talk and laugh because, um, DUH. If this blog has a brand (brand talk: puke) it would be dysfunction - not dysfunction simply for entertainment's sake although it can be entertaining, I suppose, but we write as a part of a combined furious attempt to understand our unique madness and ultimately maybe transcend the dysfunction and arrive at a better place. Isn't that concept the point of life, really? Yet these people talk about our dysfunction and giggle about the wonderful trainwreck of it all as if we should be ashamed of ourselves or aren't aware of how we are perceived or maybe they think we're masquerading as this really together couple who wants the world to glory in our amazingness and they get off on revealing the "truth"?

If I admit right here, right now that I am one of the most dysfunctional people around and I know it do you think all the shit talk will stop? Nah. They'll find something else to bitch about and that's cool. It's the way this internet game is played, I get it.

But listen, dude, we totally fight and we admit it. So the fighting, the dysfunction, it's no big secret. But we're trying, dammit. We're trying to become better people even if it's a process during which I feel like I take two giant steps back for every step forward. We're trying. And that's really the only point. We're trying to do what our parents couldn't. We're slogging along, trying to figure it all out one step at a time and bringing you along for the ride, sometimes imparting a few things we've managed to learn during the madness and sometimes asking for your opinions or experiences from your own relationships and sometimes it's just nice to hear your words of encouragement. And hey, if reading about our shitty fights helps you feel a little less alone in your situation then I think that's fantastic. If reading about our shitty fights helps you feel superior because you don't fight as much, well then that's great too. Whether you're rooting for us or against us isn't our concern, although placing bets on when someone divorces and rooting for a couple to break up is its own brand of dysfunction - that's your scene to figure out.

I'm looking forward to closing the book on May. It's been a tough month for a million reasons that maybe I can share with you when more time has gone by and I am able to acquire some perspective that I just don't have yet. In the meantime, join us for our day-to-day nonsense over on He Said/She Said. Apparently we're live blogging the holiday weekend as we put the fun in dysfunction! Meaning, I'm sure there will be some fights and finger pointing (Fingerpointing is our trademark! We excel at finger pointing!) but also hopefully some really lovely moments as well. See you there and Happy Memo!rial Day.

LIVE BLOGGING FROM DYSFUNCTION JUNCTION! An American Family's Memorial Day Weekend.