Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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Me Needs The Preciousss (Giveaway)

And the winner is... commenter 148, Jane! Jane has already been contacted and will be receiving her Juno Lucina diamond pendant very soon. Thanks, everyone. I enjoyed reading all your comments.


Hey! This post is sponsored by Juno Lucina who wants to give away a really beautiful piece of jewelry to one of you. Seriously! This is totally my biggest giveaway ever so read on because even if you don't like jewelry someone you know LOVES it and you can really come away looking like a champion if you score.

I wasn't aware of a "push present" during either of my pregnancies. In case you aren't aware either a push present (or push gift) is something a father gets the mother when she gives birth to their child. You know, to mark all her hard work pushing (or getting sliced open while someone rummages around in her guts to yank out a baby) hence the name push present.

Apparently men in India and England have been gifting their baby mamas for centuries. Americans are just catching on in the last decade or so, which, isn't that just like us? Behind in everything. Unfortunately, when I became aware of push presents it was because women were suddenly demanding them as payment for nine months of horrible pregnancy and then the difficulty of labor. Not only that, but women were specifying exactly what they expected from their mate. Which item of jewelry, what vacation. Which, gross, ladies. Way to create a backlash and make what is supposed to be a sentimental something to thank mom for giving birth into materialistic madness. Get over yourself, girlfriend. And stop ruining it for us nice gals who are still hoping our dudes take the initiative and buy us a sweetly sentimental gift commemorating the births of our children without our prodding. It isn't sentimental if you beg for it, now, is it?

There has been a lot of dialogue about push gifts and childbirth etiquette over on Babble so when a company called Juno Lucina contacted me about push presents I was interested because, from what I understand, Juno Lucina is the only luxury jewelry line dedicated exclusively to push presents for new mothers. As in, the jewelry line they offer has been created specifically as a push present. I thought that was cool because it adds to the sentimentality of the gift. This isn't a generic item of jewelry, this is a specific piece designed and created to commemorate mother and child. I like the idea of that.

A little history for you that makes this line even better: Juno Lucina is actually the Roman goddess of light and childbirth. Theology states that she was invoked during childbirth for both an easy delivery and the promise of a healthy child. Each piece the company offers is a depiction of Juno Lucina cradling mother and baby. She's represented by white or yellow gold and diamonds represent mother and baby. I like stuff that is deeply rooted in tradition and history. You know, something that actually represents the process of birth and mother and child as opposed to, say, a trip to Aruba. Which, don't get me wrong, Aruba is probably nice but what does a trip there have to do with pregnancy, birth and your baby other than - if you're anything like me - a few months after childbirth you're going to feel like a beached whale while lounging on the sand because, you know, baby weight and all. Stick a harpoon in me, I'm done.

Before shaking proverbial hands with Juno Lucina I checked out all the stuff they offer and was impressed. When they told me they wanted to not only send me a push present because I'd never received one but they wanted to give away a signature piece to one of you guys I was sold. I mean, a gift for you? How can I turn that down? And come on. Did I not puke my guts out for a combined 18 months before pushing two humans from my body in a scene straight out of the Alien film franchise starring Sigourney Weaver? I did! And suddenly I really wanted whatever the hell they wanted to send me to commemorate that.

My surprise was delivered in this fancy schmancy purple box. It was so soft and pretty I didn't even want to open it I just wanted to set it on my counter and think about opening it.

I thought about opening it for a while (about five minutes) but when the kids got all hover-y and antsy about MY gift (We may have shared food and body juices and you even pooped in my uterus but BACK OFF, Grabby McGrabbersons!) I had to get the show on the road or risk tears and tantrums.

Inside the first box was another box, Russian doll style. A good thing to be sure because, YIPPY, more stuff to open! And hey you! Violet! Get yer hands off my goods! MY Preciousss, MY Preciousss. I don't care what I said about taking turns with Henry when you play with your toys, I am not sharing!

There was a lovely poem imprinted on the inside lid of the big box but I must admit, I was all hot and bothered to get to the good stuff so I got all up in that there box first and then went back to the poem later, kinda like when Grandma sends you a birthday card filled with cash you get right to counting the bills and go back later to read Grandma's special birthday message. Unless Grandma happens to be standing right there and then you have to set the cash aside like you couldn't care less how much it is and spend five minutes reading the card and acting all emotional and thankful when all you really want to do is get to counting your cash or read how many zeroes Grandma scrawled on that there check in her signature chicken scratch handwriting. Sorry Grandma, but cash is cash, yo and I'm quickly learning that diamonds might really be a girl's best friend.

Inside the little box was the good stuff. And let me be clear, I don't think I've ever been given a diamond before IN MAH LIFE, you guys. I consider myself a non-jewelry person and have actively discouraged all boyfriends and Serge from buying me trinkets. But I'm afraid I've been wrong all these years. I actually got all giggly and stupid about it, like, ooh look at the shiny stuff all for meeee!! And it's not like some fella all in love with me was gifting me either although I did rather get on like a Colorado wildfire with the founder of Juno Lucina when I talked to him on the phone. Another reason I really like Juno Lucina. They are super personable and will walk a dude through the process of purchasing something for his baby mama. They do custom stuff, the whole nine.

So, like, if you're currently knocked up you should just tell your man you read this hilarious post by this amazing girl (that's me, by the way) on the internet and send him this way. That's not really demanding a push present, is it? More like gently suggesting...

See my preciousss?

I was also thrilled because I didn't tell them anything about myself, including the fact that I'm not really into gold but prefer white gold if I do happen to wear jewelry and lo and behold they sent me white gold. I was pretty excited about the whole thing. Seriously. Ask Serge. I went all Gollum right there in the kitchen in front of our kids. ME WANTS IT. ME NEEDS IT. MUST HAVE THE PRECIOUSSS...

Come closer and see my pretty necklace. But not too close! Back off, back off! It's my preciousss. You have to leave a comment to get your own preciousss.

And may I repeat one last time, I am not a jewelry person. I don't have an engagement ring and my wedding ring was $10 from a mall kiosk. But maybe I am a jewelry person? Because does the I-Am-The-Star-Of-My-Own-Jewelry-Commerical mug on this posing fool look like the face of a non-jewelry person? Or just the kind of person who doesn't mind showing people photos of her bra peeking out of her dress? Or both?

Have I been lying to myself about my feelings for jewelry all these years? Even H-Dog is impressed with My Preciousss.

Back off kid, keep your grubby mitts off My Preciousss. Oh wait, it's supposed to commemorate me giving birth to you so, okay, you can look at it but don't touch, I don't know where your fingers have been. I know I should, but I don't which is more a testament to your stellar ability to get into and onto and under everything and touch every square inch of anything while doing so than it is a condemnation of my mothering skillz.

So yeah. I adore my trinket (it's solid but delicate and fancy and casual) and I would've loved it if my husband (the one who took all these photos but neglected to tell me my bra was the star of the show) had given it to me after I birthed two children who look exactly like him and not a bit like me. The whole presentation is really special and after reading the poem, with lines like "presented to you by a loved one for your strength throughout pregnancy...This is a time for you to feel special, to feel appreciated and to feel loved." I know I would've bawled my hormonal face off if receiving it in my third trimester or in the hospital after giving birth. It definitely would've made the stitches in my vagina (Hi Grandpa!) a whole lot more bearable.

So listen. I want you to have one too. A necklace, I mean, not an injured vagina. Did you forget what it looks like? (Again, I meant the necklace) Here, let me remind you, I think I took more photos of My Preciousss than of Violet and Henry after they were born.

If you want a preciousss too Juno Lucina wants to give away another one, just like mine, to one reader. All you've got to do is leave a comment below sharing your thoughts about push presents. For? Against? Did you get one? And hey, if you're a girl, get your guy to leave a comment too (or vice versa) which doubles your chances of winning. Oh! And hey! If you "like" their Facebook page you can get 5% off any purchase.

I'll close the post comments on Sunday night and randomly pick a number from a random number generator thingamajigger like so and the corresponding commenter is the winner. I'll announce who wins Monday morning. Don't forget to leave your email with the comment so I can contact you if you won. Ready, set, go!

Reader Comments (173)

Our older son is over 40 and I rec'd a "thank you" not "push" gift of jewelry when he was born. My next-door neighbor led my husband in the right our jeweler, who provided a beautiful diamond pin that delighted me.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarole

I've just recently heard about these as well. I think it is a nice idea, but I can't imagine demanding one. If my husband wanted to surprise me that would be great! No kids yet, but when we decide to have them I will definitely plant the idea in his mind...

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

I never got a push present (2 kids). I never wanted to ask for one....kinda takes the magic away from it ya know?! Love the simplicity of the necklace!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Isn't the baby the push present? I hate how society now thinks that people deserve a present for everything. While yes, getting pretties is nice, you shouldn't be upset with not getting one. I think that presents have far more meaning and value when they are just because. This need to have have have is leading to a very sad state of living. One where you never know when you will be the person who is left feeling guilty for not having brought a present when one was expected.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha

I had not heard of it called a "push" present before, but I have heard of the concept. My friend has 4 kids and got a present with each. I have 3 (older daughter and twin girls) and got NA DA, nothing, zilch, zippo...but it would have been wonderful if my husband had been aware of the practice.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

While I was pregnant, my husband bought an earring and necklace set with the birthstone of our impending little one. I was freaked out about it being superstitious so I told him to take them back. He returned the necklace but not the earrings -- which I got a "push present". Man, I wish that necklace. But this one would be nice too.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAvalentine

Right before I gave birth to our son, my hubby got into the habit of collecting antique furniture. When I told him enough was enough, he insisted on just one more piece: an art deco china cabinet. He said it was a present for me as a thank you for growing his son. I like the idea of jewelry as a push present. And that necklace is really lovely :-)

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrace Miller

You look beautiful in that necklace! :) I disagree with only the NAME of the Push Presents. Yick. I would have liked to receive one, but didn't. Now you and the random number generator can change all that!!!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterel-e-e

My husband's argument was that the babies were the presents. Mine was that me giving birth to his child on two different occasions was a great opportunity to buy me those diamond earrings I want! He won... only babies as presents for this girl. I think you make a great point, though, Monica... kinda takes the magic out of it if you demand a certain item/vacation... Still... I'd love to have that bling... :)

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlydia

Someone like myself that gets the baby blues like you wouldn't believe could really benefit from a push present. Sometimes after a good push, the actual "baby" which is supposed to be the present I assume, just doesn't do enough for a crazy mom like myself. I like the idea of a sweet gift, maybe it's the name that throws me off. I don't think I need a reward for having a baby, just a boob job when we are done;)
It's sort of like "I don't want you to ask to do the dishes I want you to want to do the dishes" if my hubby gave me a gift out of the kindess of his heart that would be the gift of the century , however "here's your push present" is a buzz kill.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKami

I think if your husband/child's father wants to give you a gift in honor of the new life you created that is wonderful. To get a gift as a reward for carrying and delivering something so special seems silly to me.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

Gorgeous!! You're eyes look ahhhh maaaazing in that photo! Thanks for the giveaway.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHally Hotta

I got one for my first born, but not my second, although I can't remember why now. I'm sure there was a reason for that. He did buy me a necklace with my daughter's birth stone on it. I gave my husband a gift as well because while I had to carry that baby, he got to deal with the crazy hormonal mess I was for 9 months. I was annoying to myself, I can only imagine what it was like to someone not in my head.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKendra

I got my wife flowers, didn't think about (and had no money to buy) a push present at the time. I will however make sure to give my wife this present even if her 'push' was of the 'cut my gut open' variety and was a few years back. She still deserves it!

My baby daddy gave me a push present for each kiddo! We like to refer to it as the "baby bling". I was sort of lobbing for a gift with our first baby. But I kept telling my man I didn't want anything for our 2nd. (We had enough debt to worry about). He completely ignored me and surprised me with "the bling" after our son was born. I have to say I love that I have something special from each of our kids birth. He didn't put us further into debt buying the gift, and it is a keepsake that I have to pass on to them someday as well. I think at the end of the day, it's just nice to have your partner do something that shows their love and appreciation no matter what the occasion.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

Expecting one is rude. Gettig one is awesome. I didn't really have "push presents" on my mind after giving birth. My husband did get m a Mother's Day gift while I was still pregnant, and I thought it was so sweet that his man-mind already connected those dots.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjendy

I kinda like the idea of it, but as others have said I do not like the name push present. But we only make about 30000$ a year, so when both of my kids were born, we we as usual pretty broke. When my son was born he had to be life-flighted to a bigger hospital, so him getting to come home was my "cut open present"! Even if we had money though, I doubt I would have gotten a gift from my hubby. He hasn't got me a christmas or birthday gift in 4 years! My only jewerly is my wedding ring than was his aunt and uncles(they raised him). It's worth about $20 but I love it. That is a beautiful necklace though.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I had just heard of push presents right before I had my son. What girl wouldn't love a gift to commemorate such a joyful occasion? I have to say my husband spoils me when & how he can, but we passed on the push present. It was a wise decision considering I had no one to help when I first got home so we spent some money hiring someone to come help with chores & let me rest. Let's call that my push present! There's no better gift I can think of than my sweet little boy.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHarmony

I have four kids and I never got a push present. Well, I got Netflix for all the time I spent nursing, does that count?

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSonja Lange

I did get a charm to add to my bracelet but I never wear it as the child loves to put it in his mouth when I do. Love he necklace!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSara

A gift is nice but I'm not comfortable with the idea of "pushing" (haha) your husband to get you a gift. But husbands can be pretty clueless at times, so perhaps some subtle hinting would be suitable.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpostmormongirl

The whole term "push present" makes me cringe (as does "babymoon"). Not a fan. But I am a fan of jewelry ;)

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

Sadly, I never heard of a push present - my kids are in the 20's now, so I guess this was before their time. I think that necklace is absolutely gorgeous!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnn from St. Peter, MN

I am in week 9 of pregnancy #2. I have been throwing up for weeks -- so much so that I have already been hospitalized twice. Misery. That said...a diamond would surely ease my nausea for at least 5 minutes, right?
I didn't get a push present with #1...My hubby - while a good guy-- is so not the type to go buy me a present for having a baby. He did, however, run to Target for my unprepared self and buy me the UGLIEST nursing bra ever created the day after I had my son. So- mad props to him.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSierra

I am all for them as long as they are done the "right" way - i.e., yeah, not when you demand a specific something! but when it's picked out for you as a loving gesture - sure, sounds good to me! That being said, when my husband asked me if I wanted one for the birth of our daughter, I said no - finances were tight, and she was more than gift enough! ;)

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermeekasmommy

No push presents here. Like others, I viewed the baby as my present for all that nasty pushing. Of course, he's awesome and all, but not nearly as shiny as that purty necklace.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJess

I think an authentic present can be a sweet thing. I think the pressure put on dudes now and women expecting it puts me off. People are so materialistic these days and everyone expects so much from other people that it really ruins it.

And as a side note, I am (hopefully) less than two weeks away from giving birth to my second child and since we just bought our first house and I won't be working for a little while, we are totally broke and I will not be receiving any push presents, except maybe a beautiful card (sans cash). It will be amazing, but a new mama could always use a little something sparkly to help make her feel pretty. ;)

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKrystan

That necklace looks perfect for you. I'm the same way with jewelry; I wear my wedding ring that has a small diamond but that's it. I would feel so awkward with a huge rock on my hand. I had my kids pretty young and had never heard of the push presents and even if I had, we couldn't have afforded it. And I never would have told him what to get.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJesse B.

I too pushed a child through my Vagina....with no push present. Also, you look fabulous in your picture "180 dayish post hair cut"!!!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKristen Jones

I had never heard of a push present until this post and I did not receive one from my husband when my daughter was born. Not sure what I think of the idea- it sounds a bit like you're being 'compensated' for having 'his' baby. I do like the idea of celebrating your new baby though. And I do like jewelry ... That necklace is gorgeous.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShera

4 kids…no push presents! Though he did always have an icy cold Guinness waiting for me at home. . . I found that to be very thoughtful. Would love to win this. . . Never had much fancy in my life!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

I think a trinket or mmemorable show of appreciation is lovely. I gave birth to my son just 10 days ago and love that my husband bought me a dozen roses but also bought roses for the 23 yr old nurse who saved our son's life. Before Matthew was born, he gave me a birthstone ring for mother's day. I cherish the gesture and love that he did something so special for me. I'm blessed, very blessed.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Like el-e-e I'm not a fan of the name of them. It seems like the people who demand them inadvertently gave it that name by being so pushy. I like the sentiment though. I have a feeling my man will not think of something like this—as thoughtful as he is. Also, it takes him about 18 months to pick out any little thing he buys so I can't imagine how long it would take him to pick out a piece of jewelry. Luckily this one is perfect!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

I think it's nice if a husband wants to give his wife a gift for having a baby, but I don't think women should demand them. It means more if he came up with the idea on his own.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

My first memory of giving jewelry after a gift was from a Danielle Steel book (waaaaaay back in the 80's) the story took place in the 1940's and the man bought his wife an emerald bracelet because she went through a crazy delivery. It wasn't referred to as a 'push present' just sorta implied.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBonnieLee

I have never heard of a push present, much less gotten one :). I have 2 girls and it would have been sweet to get one.....after all we endure MONTHS being pregnant, while it takes the men, ah, say a minute or so? HA. I would Love to win this !

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrandi Underwood

I didn't get a push present though I knew they were around when I was pregnant 8 years ago. I did get a pretty diamond and pearl necklace when I was pregnant to represent the birthstone of my husband and child. I still have it but can't wear since the post holding the pearl broke and I haven't been successful in getting it repaired. I like the idea of genuine presents.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterREK

I think push presents are fantastic. I dropped little hints to my husband how thoughtful they were. Well, 4 kids later, aged 9months- 5 yrs of age, i never got one. Not even a thank you or anything actually..or "well done". Don't think he actually meant to be kind of insensitive, but just always got caught up in the new baby and all the glory that had to offer.

I would have loved, and still would love some kind of gratitude from him, just so I knew that he appreciated all that I went through and some of those pregnancies and labors were anything but pleasant. But, I know he loves me and i'm sure he is appreciative and in awe, just not very good at showing it.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle Charlton

PS: It looks awesome on you, and I hope that one certain little boy does not eat it.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Although I didn't recieve a formal present, my husband gives me the gift of gratitude everyday for the children we have. He subscribes to Happy Wife-Happy Life and does his best to make it so.
There is no deadline when a father can give this to the mother of his children. It is never to late to make such a beautiful expression.
When my oldest daughter gave birth do our grandson this past February my mother gave her a push present. I about blew like Mt. Vesuvius. That was the first time I had heard about them and she didn't give me one for the 3 grandchildren I gave her.
It didn't take long to get over it, but in listening to my daughter and her friends I was a little grossed out by the materialistic givmie givmies.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBridget

It seems kind of weird, but I did use the birth of my daughter as an excuse to buy myself a really nice camera, so maybe that's a kind of push present?

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

The necklace is beautiful. Congratulations on your diamonds! I hate the term "push present" but i think a heartfelt gift is always nice. I didn't get a specific present but much like waking up to a car wrapped in a huge red bow, that will just remain a fantasy for me! I know people get cars and diamonds gifted but that's not how we roll. Oh! I know! My husband played Marah on the car ride home. Feather Boa. Yep, not making that one up. Bless him. Interesting choice for a newborn, eh? Then later that day he built a shed in our backyard. The DAY my child arrived home from the hospital he built something. He cracks me up. :-)

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLiz aka EDW

My push present with my oldest daughter was my parents, my mother-in-law, and my sisters- and brothers-in-law starting to walk into the hospital room as I lay there, feet up in the stirrups, VERY exposed, and waiting for the doctor to come back and delivery this baby. Thankfully my husband stopped them before they saw all of me and made it possible for me to actually still look them in the eyes at future family get-togethers.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMonica Fragale

My kids are 12 and 15 so there were no "push presents" around when they were born. In fact, due to my first being 5 weeks early because of HELLP syndrome, my dear hubby barely made it to the delivery at all! She was the one I should've gotten a present for....terrible morning sickness and then an emergency c-section via general anesthesia 5 weeks early with Dad all the way on the other side of the universe when the doctors decided she had to come out. Good thing she was big and healthy.....I was the sick one. All was good after delivery and we even managed a second kid - one of each and we were done. The second birth was better - VBAC in the nan0-second the experts decided it was a good idea.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Having a man that thoughtful would be great! But I don't think it's something that should be expected. I think it would be much more special if he came up with the idea on his own :)

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWendi

I think its a lovely idea to give a gift. It doesn't have to be jewelry but it sure is nice. I didn't receive anything when my kids were born. Between you and I , I don't even think he said thank you. Its the way my man's brain is wired. He a good guy though. In fact the day I got home from the hospital his whole italian family came for dinner which caused a huge battle between him and I . I could go on but won't.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulianna2221

I don't see anything wrong with push presents, as long as they aren't demanded. I mean, come on - you spent 9 months gestating an entire human being, worrying about your health, staving off sushi and alcohol and everything else fun, only to force a baby out of you through a much-tinier opening. A present is not a bad thing! It just drives me crazy when someone demands they get a push present, because anyone that demands any kind of present kind of sucks.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I never thought that childbirth deserved a present. It was something that my body was designed for and we all know that if men had to give birth they would of invented something to make the whole process easier or came up with the push present way before anyone else. When we had our 1st born we never had money to spend on extra things. we where a young military family. I know my husband would of bought something beautiful if we had the means to. My 2nd was born premature so we where so consumed with that while my husband was also deployed. Having a 2 yr old and newborn while being a single mom I didn't have time to realize I was missing out on some awesome bling! Either way I don't feel like I missed out on anything having two healthy little boys was my present. Although when I had to have a hysterectomy at 25 my husband felt bad and bought me a lazyboy recliner so I could have 6 weeks of comfy recovery (money well spent!).

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen C

I have never heard it referred to as a push present, but my husband got me a beautiful ring after our daughter was born. I never expected anything and I would never ask for such a thing.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I see absolutely nothing wrong with telling your husband to buy you something expensive after carrying the baby. Can you imagine what men would make US do if they gave birth? We would have to like, dip their wangs in gold and put a rings of diamonds around it complete with BJ every morning until the baby was 50.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTeresa

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