Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
You can also find Monica's writing here:
« Where Are All My Wordy Women At? | Main | Bad Guys, Bullets and the Batman Movie Massacre »

Mini Nudist Colony

Another photo from the 4th of July. The mother of three of these children (the two obviously naked ones are my heathens) is, perhaps, my favorite mom I've ever met. She's unflappable. Calm, cool, collected.

I once witnessed her kid get head-butted by a goat (the feller to the left groping a beach ball) and she calmly stood up, went to retrieve him, returned and continued our conversation while rocking the crying child without missing a beat. As if her kid spars with goats on the regular. Another time we walked about a half-mile down to a swimming hole and she had a kid strapped to her back, was holding the hand of another one and carrying a cooler, I think?

Once we reached the water's edge she proceeded to whip out a bunch of avacados and make guacamole. Right there, lakeside. And then she pulled a bag or tortilla chips out - of her ass, I'm guessing, because I don't know where else she would've stashed them because I don't think they'd fit in her bra, although, make no mistake, she has a nice rack. She probably has a first aid kit tucked up in her brazierre somewhere, right next to the bag of tomatoes, mozzarella and fresh basil she whipped out to make a quick appetizer at our last get-together. I mean, seriously, Aubrey. STOP MAKING ME LOOK BAD.

Anyway, she and her husband (Serge's boyfriend) live about four hours away, which is a shame, because when asking her permission to post this photo I mentioned that if they lived closer Serge and I would totally like to go steady with them and, like, go out on dates and stuff. Figures. One of the few couples we really dig and it's a long distance love kind of thing.