Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
You can also find Monica's writing here:
« Surrender Dorothy | Main | Good Girl to the Left, Bad Hair to the Right »

For My Valentines (That's You Guys!)

Did you know they barely even sell Valentines with envelopes anymore? Most of the crap on sale is this new-fangled type of cardboard card with perforated edges that kind of folds together. No quaint little envelope to address or stuff with candy. No pithy little Valentine to delight upon. Just some cardboard piece of nothing showcasing Spongebob wishing you a sponge-tastic day.

I long for the good old days when a group of Don Draper-esque type dudes put their heads together and churned out some original Valentine’s Day sentiments.

Except, well, after stumbling upon this batch of vintage Valentines maybe Spongebob ain’t so bad. I dunno. You tell me. What’s worse? A cow destined for the slaughterhouse begging for your heart or Dora wishing you feliz día de San Valentín?

Brace yourself. Thar be clowns in here.

Whoa. WHOA! Sorry to interrupt your snow play. Mrs. Frosty is gonna be pissed!