Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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Remember how Serge and I couldn't manage to purchase a pair of pants together? How we didn't last three minutes at the mall together? Mostly because his tiny man mind couldn't grasp the difference between boot cut and low-rise? Yeah, that. Well, we did it! We bought pants together! A marital milestone! Not one, not two, but THREE PAIRS OF PANTS! Not only that, but they cling to his backside in a most becoming fashion.

This is most exciting to me. For years now he's been sporting the same blue jeans. I don't know if it's just the one pair or he's got twenty of them stashed somewhere because they all look the same. Not only that, but since we've both been exercising he quite literally worked his ass off. It's gone. Just gone. I mean, it's been months since I've seen anything that resembled an ass, so covered was it in voluminous folds of denim belonging to jeans he purchased years ago.

Over the weekend we finally managed to purchase jeans. With kids in tow! A feat no less miraculous then the fact that we've both been exercising every day of 2013.

And there was much rejoicing all around! Especially by those who enjoyed hiding in the "pants forests" at the mall and staring at their image in the three-way mirror.

Oh. And the kids were happy too.

So basically I spent the weekend following Serge around the house trying to snap a photo of his ass. He wouldn't allow it. He is such a buzzkill. After I nagged as I am wont to do when I don't get my way he finally sat down and let me take a couple pictures of him. Mostly because I said I'd take them in his bar and he's so proud of the bar he couldn't resist. And he should be. He built the walls in there himself. Bought the scrap metal, rusted it, treated it and hammered it up. Same with the barnwood you see. Since photos of him are so rare around these parts you'll surely excuse the photo dump.

Hey there handsome fella.

Why so serious. Can you give us a bit of smile?

I got him to change into a shirt that I felt fit the color scheme better by promising sex. It worked like a charm. I should employ sex as bait more often.

Photo bombers!

Okay, maybe we can still turn this around and use the photo bombers as props?

Oh! Oh! Look! Someone's really getting into this, is about to open a can of sexy all up on yo ass! Oh, wait. No. nevermind. He's just adjusting his shirt collar but, ladies, WELCOME TO THE GUN SHOW. You'd best stand back.

Photo session crashed! Just when things were getting interesting.

But wait! The Gun Show isn't over! The next day:

Oh and hey! Look what I got when he was least expecting it.

Blurry but still! At this point I'll take whatever ass I can get. Which, funnily enough, is Serge's marriage motto as well but for very different reasons.

P.S. Serge wrote this thing for Yahoo! which is totally worthy of a click. How My Deadbeat Dad made me a better father. Is it possible that there's a bright side to growing up without a dad? Maybe.

Reader Comments (9)

Wonderful! You both look wonderful! You are showing that bastard, 2013, who's boss!

March 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJacqueline

I am wildly impressed with the bar.

March 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Lee

sheesh- I thought he was hot before... Oh and you look lovley as always Monica :)

March 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkirsten

Wow. Serge looks great.

March 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBetts

Seriously- hotter than his Marah days. Kudos to both of you for inspiring the rest of us- everything from changing your diet, lifestyle, working on your marriage, finding a home/work balance, planning another kiddo. Now I feel like I need to get myself in gear and try to better myself or something.

Serge-the piece on yahoo was beautiful. I grew up in a similar situation, it breaks my heart my brother chose to emulate my father, and let his kids suffer as we did. I hope your Mom gets to read it- my Mom never left- growing up in that environment numbs you as a child.

Monica- you look so happy and seem to be lit within- I hope you continue to find peace with your family- you all are a lovely and inspiring bunch without ever once coming across as a pretentious look how happy we are group. Thank you for sharing your lives with the masses of strangers...


March 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMary

i am like totally sweating that bar. OMG.

March 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterteresa

Thank you for this. For posting CURRENT pictures of your husband where you clearly find him gorgeous - and the confidence of the life changes he's made to get there shows on his face. This is so much better than all of the old pictures of your mutual hotness that we've seen so many times.

I'm happy for you both and glad I stuck it out as a fan of your site even when it was painful to watch/read.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura B

You two are adorable. Keep up the good work!!!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterOlivia

You are so funny Monica. I am gonna call you Aunt Pants. Very nice backdrop too,

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentergina

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