Lessons Learned On Summer Vacation

I guess I thought I’d be using the damn beach chair, you know?

I mean, that’s why I bought the thing.

But, when you finally stumble down onto the sand that first day of vacation, your arms leaking brightly-colored towels and bulging mesh bags of plastic shovels and castle molds, and the kids are plunging toward the ocean as if it was their real home, as if all along they were just a couple of kidnapped flounder being held against their will by "mom" and "dad," then it dawns on you quickly that the whole idea, the entire notion of you being able to sit down in the midday sun with a Diet Coke in one hand and the latest issue of Vanity Fair in your lap is just bullshit.

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