Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
You can also find Monica's writing here:
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Thought-Based Farts and Other Stories

I don't take farts lightly. They aren't a hilarious bodily function. They are an attack. An affront to my soul. Growing up with three brothers I bore the brunt of fart attacks. Held down, hands covering my mouth so I was forced to breathe out of my nose, and then the bomb would be dropped.

I recently tried to explain this to Serge, who in all fairness, doesn't fart around me. When he's awake, anyway. Sleeping is another matter entirely. I once tried to describe the tone of his sleeping farts to him, so stunned was I by their timbre, if you will.

"Oh, well. My farts aren't a bodily function." He breezily explained. "They are thought-based. I think so deeply that the thoughts need to find a way out. It's the thoughts combined with oxygen that you're hearing."


I've spent the past three months engaged in an online relationship. I'm certainly smitten. That's the word Serge used to describe the goings on. If you've been reading this blog since before my babies were born you likely know this person and your brain might drip out of your ears were I to type their name here. Any guesses? I'm such a tease.

I keep meaning to write more but have been consumed with my online relationship, writing for other websites, the tiny boy growing in my belly and lots of Halloween activities. But I'm still here! I swear! Come find me on Facebook (where, if you're very observant, you just might spot my online crush) because I'm always there if not here.

Speaking of Halloween, I have recently taken my new favorite photo. It's going to be a tough one to top. Serge ordered our Halloween costumes months ago, has been planning their debut and we finally got a chance to wear them over the weekend.

"I ran across the backyard in my Sully suit and hid behind the tree and I could hear my kids in the upstairs window squealing and giggling.

I heard my wife’s voice cry out, “It’s Sully! He’s in our yard!”

I peeked around the tree trunk and they spotted my big blue head and laughed with delight."

You can check out the rest of the photos and read about the costume debut here.

Reader Comments (7)

Okay so now I am truly curious! Are you going to tell us? Don't leave us hanging!

October 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Both photos are gorgeous! But you aren't just going to leave us hanging like that, are you?

October 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLK

Party Pants?

October 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterUnclear

Your facebook clue has me intrigued!! I'm off to go stalk your page! ;)

October 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVal

I know how it is and you're right! My brain is leaking out of my ears. What? How? When?

October 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterA.

I mean to say who. I know who it is!

October 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterA.

The Bielankos sure know how to love life. Thanks for sharing these fun fotos.

November 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commentergina

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